In those moments I start to doubt and question my own knowledge and experiences and every time I do they feel even more inadequate than the last time I evaluate them. When I write about games or anime, I can pretty easily latch onto an angle I’d like to approach when I write about things but when it comes to music sometimes I feel like an absolute fool due to how cornered, constricted and stuck I feel when trying to write about it. This isn’t something I encounter with the other topics I write about here either.
#Yuji takenouchi chaindive how to#
In the past, when I was putting together plenty of the previous Cycles, I’ve felt and confronted the overwhelming, embarrassing and absolutely deflating feeling of not knowing how to write about something. I suppose I’ll find out in the days after this thing goes up! But enough aimless preamble! I’ve got exciting things in store for this year so let me lay out the plans I’ve got real quick! So maybe having this powerful and persistent force back in my life will help me out, or maybe I’ll burn out even harder than I feel like I currently am. But perhaps reviving the Cycle will be the motivator I need? These always operate on my own internal deadline that I’ve always managed to fulfill, for better and for worse. I’ve already been hit with that enough this year, given that there are still some unfinished writing projects that I haven’t finished even though I could have easily done so by now. That I’ll underdeliver on my internal promises and sink into self-inflicted disappointment. Where I’m currently at, I’m worried that I might squander an opportunity I’ve been waiting so long to put into action. I’ve known for a long while now, actually. Just… nothing.īecause of that, I’m a bit wary of bringing back the Cycle because I know what I’d like to do for its third iteration. Not even a relaxing “nothing” or even a restful “nothing”.
What was I doing a week ago? A month ago? Yesterday? An hour ago? Couldn’t tell you with how often my answer seems to be nothing. A quarter of the year already written into history and how have I spent it? Truthfully, I feel like I’ve been letting myself down by merely letting the days slip past me, congealing into each other forming a murky mass of pure emptiness. This is the first Cycle of 2021.Īs I sit here and write this, time shrinking closer and closer to my ideal deadline for publishing this, I have a hard time believing we’re nearly four months deep into 2021.
The Nonary Cycle is a recurring roundup featuring recent listens, sonic tangents and other aural musings and fascinations.
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